My Days

 “One of Those Days”

It was one of those days—the kind that starts off quiet but grows into a storm inside your head. I sat there, staring at nothing, not really tired, not really awake—just… heavy. Heavy with thoughts, questions, pressure, and silence. I’m 29 now, and somehow, life feels louder than ever, even in the stillest moments.I didn’t plan for this day to be anything special. I didn’t expect it to hit me like a truck either. But it did. Maybe it was the silence in the room, the absence of a voice I’ve been yearning to hear, or maybe just the ticking clock reminding me I’m not getting any younger. Somewhere between morning coffee and the blur of evening lights, my mind became a battleground.

It started with work—my job, or rather, my career. Am I even doing what I want? Am I doing enough? Have I made something meaningful out of all the years I spent chasing degrees, working overtime, saying yes when I wanted to say no, showing up when I was breaking inside? I look around at people my age, switching careers, building startups, climbing ladders I can’t even see clearly. And here I am, doubting every step I take. There’s a weight on my shoulders that no one seems to see—the quiet scream of not knowing if you’re falling behind or just standing still. Then came the thoughts about marriage. Not love—marriage. The word itself feels so structured, so formal. People around me are getting engaged, married, even divorced. Some have kids. Some have a second kid. And I’m here wondering whether I’ll ever find someone who understands me, truly gets me—not just the cheerful version I show the world but the one who cries without reason, who thinks too deeply, who overanalyzes every text and silence, who stares at the ceiling at 2 a.m. wondering if they’re unlovable.

I’ve loved. I’ve lost. I’ve been the secret admirer, the emotional fool, the loyal friend who hoped for more. And now, I’m just… here. Watching life move, while I stay still.

Responsibilities? Don’t even get me started. The older you get, the longer the list becomes. Bills. Family. Expectations. Phone calls you don’t want to make. Emails you dread opening. The guilt of not calling back. The pressure to be available, mature, composed—always. The world doesn’t care if you’re tired. The rent won’t wait if you’re sad. Life moves on, even if you’re broken. And relationships? Not just romantic ones—friendships too. Some have faded into memory. Some are held together by the weakest threads of “hope you’re doing well” messages. Everyone’s busy. Everyone’s building something, fixing something, chasing something. The loneliness creeps in even when you’re surrounded by people. It’s the loneliness of not being understood. Not being seen. That aching void where real connection used to live.

I got mad today. Not at anyone in particular. Just at everything. At how unfair life feels. At how people expect you to have everything figured out by this age. At how I feel stuck, even when I’m trying. At how my heart still wants to dream, but my mind whispers: “Be practical.” I got mad at myself for not being stronger. For still feeling like a child lost in an adult’s world. For needing reassurance I know won’t come. But beneath all that madness, all that frustration, was a voice. Faint but stubborn. It whispered, You’re still here. You’re still trying. You still care, even when it hurts. Maybe that’s what matters.

Because on days like this, when everything feels too much, when you doubt every part of yourself, when you question your place in the world—you’re still here. Still breathing. Still holding on. And that is not weakness. That is courage.  Maybe this day will pass. Maybe tomorrow I’ll laugh at how dramatic my thoughts were. Or maybe tomorrow will be hard too. I don’t know. But I do know that it’s okay to feel this way. It’s okay to not have all the answers. It’s okay to break down and still believe in better days.

Because sometimes, surviving a day like this is the bravest thing a person can do.

And today—I did…….

                                                                                                                                                      Joice Joy❤️