"Battles of Something "

 

Silent Wars 

Writing has always been my escape, my way of expressing thoughts and emotions that I can’t bring myself to say out loud. It is in lyrics that I find the courage to reveal what I truly feel, yet even in those words, I often hide more than I reveal. Every line I write carries a hidden message, something unsaid, something buried deep within me. And more often than not, those words revolve around things that are going to happen or not. But lately, I have been struggling—not just to find the right words, but to even begin. It feels as though something invisible is stopping me, something I can’t quite understand.

Every time I sit down to write, my mind races, overflowing with thoughts, yet my hands remain still. I want my lyrics to be perfect, to capture every unsaid emotion, but the moment I try to shape them into words, they slip away like sand through my fingers. I wonder if it is fear—fear of what might happen in the future, fear that my words might never reach the person they are meant for, or worse, that they will reach and change things in ways I am not ready for. Writing is supposed to give me clarity, yet right now, it only makes me question myself more.

Some days, I try to convince myself that this struggle is nothing more than laziness and that I simply lack the motivation to write. But deep down, I know that is not true. It is not about effort or discipline; it is about something far more personal. The difficulty isn’t in writing itself—it’s in making sure that my words truly reflect what I feel inside. And right now, my emotions are tangled in uncertainty. Am I scared of losing something I never fully had? Or am I afraid of holding onto a dream that might never come true? These questions haunt me, making it harder to write, think, and even understand my heart.

There is also the fear of running out of words, of losing the ability to express what matters most to me. Writing has always been my refuge, the place where I could be honest with myself. But now, even that feels like a struggle. What if one day I wake up and find that I have nothing left to say? What if, in my hesitation, I let too much time pass, and the words I was meant to say are left unspoken forever? These thoughts weigh heavily on me, making every attempt at writing feel like a battle between my heart and my fears.

Yet despite this struggle, I know one thing for sure—words will always be a part of me. Even when they fail me, even when they hide from me, they will return. Maybe I don’t need to force them, maybe I just need to be patient and let them come when they are ready. And when they do, I hope they will carry everything I have been unable to say—every hidden feeling, every silent confession, every piece of my heart. Until then, I will keep searching, not just for words, but for the courage to speak them.

 Joice💓